i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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