All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
