Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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