Whats the glycemic index on semen?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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