Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
