I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
