He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
