Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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