Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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