I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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