I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
