Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
