i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize