Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
