Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
