WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
