I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
