He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
