I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
