I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
