well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
