I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
