Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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