last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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