i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
