guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
