I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sobbing to NWA
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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