I want to make a zoo with you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
