I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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