dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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