we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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