Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
they're like a gay fantastic four
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
