just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
MIDGETS
????
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize