We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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