i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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