I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
