This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize