it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
