He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
