dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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