now i know why i became what i already was.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
