I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
