We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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