Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
