There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We're using joints as your birthday candles
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We don't watch enough power rangers
Two words: blizzard sex
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
