Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
