is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
