every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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