I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
