Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
