when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
