Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Couch. On fire.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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