It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
