I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
