stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
