So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
