Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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