she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
