we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
