The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
